All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
This can only be settled by a dance off.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
