sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
