the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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