bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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