grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
