His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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