No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Terrible idea I love it
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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