I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
