So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
