never play flip cup with pint glasses
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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