hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
