We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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