You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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