I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
