At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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