He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
