What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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