Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
