He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
