Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
50% drunk capacity currently
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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