awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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