I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
