Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
