do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
