If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
