Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
