I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
