I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
