WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
