I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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