Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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