Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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