I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
