Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
How's work?
Spinning.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
