He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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