He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
