wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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