wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
