The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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