i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
