I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
