Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
