so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The Olympian is in my bed
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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