Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Randomize
