tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize