I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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