Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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