So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
