I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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