5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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