YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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