Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
