This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
