You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
