Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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