Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
