She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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