Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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