That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
