i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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