Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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