I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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