I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
