You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
